In Hopes Of Repairing My Despaired Soul

You know that feeling when you’re constantly surrounded by successful people and the never ending success stories of other; and how that makes you feel like a proper and total failure? That is me in a nutshell right now. 
I wish I could blame all this on hormones but in all honesty the fault is entirely mine. I have stopped finding the time to be creative. I am constantly using the words, ‘I’m tired’ as a cover up for my lack of discipline and determination. I used the words ‘I am mentally exhausted’ as a front to just be plain old lazy.
Watching other people live my dream could be the wake up call that I need, or it could actually be the double edged sword that ultimately pushes me further into my excuses and despair.  Afraid to face the reality. Afraid of chasing my dream as I thought I would; with sheer force and passion.
I would like to say that I am getting old, so maybe that’s why Im feeling so retrospective. But let’s be honest, I haven’t done much in the last few years to be awarded that luxury. 
I need to rise above this despair and so something. I NEED to follow my dreams; more importantly, I NEED to make time for my dreams. If not, that is what they will always remain; as plain old dreams of a once youthful soul.

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